The Cringe Factor

I recently had one of those moments that every roleplayer has from time-to-time when mixing with the wider community. I was at the pub with a group that I don't know very well, mostly friends-of-friends, when I saw someone that I recognised. I recognised this person from one or more of the roleplaying conventions I have attended.

I did the natural thing. I turned to the person I had been talking to and explained that I knew this guy from "roleplaying".

Any roleplayers reading this know why this was an amateur mistake.

The problem is, of course, that it's pretty much impossible to properly summarise exactly what the hobby is about.

Sure, I suppose Dungeons and Dragons is basically a cross between a war-game and improvisational theatre¹, with a few brainteasers thrown in for good measure, but there's two big problems with this description. The first is that the average non-gamer doesn't really know what a (tabletop minature) war-game entails and many wouldn't know theatre sports from water sports². The second is that DnD isn't really a representative example of tabletop roleplaying anymore, let alone roleplaying as a whole. Trying to describe the differences between free-form and tabletop roleplaying to someone who doesn't have a grasp of the basics is like herding krenshars³.

Of course, I'm hardly the first person to struggle with this issue. For decades, many published roleplaying games have opened with the "What is Roleplaying?" section. Each one more laughably inadequate than the last. Not to mention the insane "this is just a game, it is not real" liability limitation statements. I'm waiting for those to start appearing in Monopoly: "you are not really the owner of Trafalgar Square, you cannot actually charge rent to visitors there".

Anyway, ultimately I have to admit that the real issue is that, as a mature, working, married adult⁴, there is a large cringe-factor involved in describing any kind of game-playing hobby. Roleplaying, wargaming, boardgaming, videogaming...

But, the question I have to ask myself is: why? How does spending your leisure time on gaming hobbies differ from going to the movies or watching TV? The major difference is simply one of interactivity. Roleplaying is like a play where you make up the script as you go along. Videogaming is like a movie in which you affect the outcome. Wargaming and boardgaming is like... trying to stretch a metaphor too far, perhaps.

I know that this conclusion is not a new one, but I think it's important that gamers of all stripes hold on to the fact that their hobbies are not childish wastes of time, but are mature and constructive exercises of the mind. And, yes, like anything, balance is important: drink in moderation and don't stay up playing video games until the sun comes up. Unless you want to be that gamer cliché - sad, smelly and single⁵.


1. Am I the only one who thinks Drew Carey would be an excellent GM?
2. Like water polo, you filthy pervert!
3. Obligatory obscure DnD reference: check.
4. Woo!
5. Yes, clichés exist for a reason. And it's a goddamn shame. Shower every day, people! Maybe you might even come to enjoy it.